How to Be a Better Listener

There are some simple steps to becoming a better listener, but they take practice to achieve results. Here are some ways to listen better whether in a large group or one-to-one.

In a large group situation, such as a lecture or training session, try these exercises:

• Be patient for the entire message
• Be aware of speech cues (who, what, where, when, why, how)
• Listen for ideas, not just facts (stories, reasons, goals help us remember facts)
Try these guidelines when talking with someone on the telephone or face-to-face. Practice these for a week or two and you will soon realize that they work.

Verify:
“So, you're saying that. . .”
“If I understand correctly, you said. . .”

Question:“What do you mean when you say. . .?”
“Have you really spent. . .?”
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2 – Oral Communication
Acknowledge: Look at the speaker and nod
Occasionally say, “hmmm” or “oh, right”

Silence: This allows you to give your undivided attention to the other person. You may give some non-verbal cues that you are hearing, such as nodding your head, smiling, opening or closing your eyes. This method is especially useful when people come to you with strong feelings, either positive or negative. Their first need is simply to share the feelings and to have someone listen.

Encourage:

“Tell me more”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Want to have lunch and talk?”

􀀹 Tips
It is estimated that we use only about 25 percent of our listening capacity. Here are three tips to help you increase your ability to listen by 50 percent:
• Look at the speaker (benefit = 15 percent)
• Ask questions (benefit = 15 percent)
• Take notes (benefit = 20 percent)

Improvement occurs only if you practice these good listening skills. Try one of them for about three months. It takes at least that long to create a new habit. If you are a good list taker already, then practice asking questions to clarify what you hear. Avoid trying to implement all three tips at the same time. Success with one new habit will encourage you to try others.
Hearing is natural. Listening is a skill that we learn. Remember: we listen more than any other human activity except breathing!
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