How to Be a Better Listener

There are some simple steps to becoming a better listener, but they take practice to achieve results. Here are some ways to listen better whether in a large group or one-to-one.

In a large group situation, such as a lecture or training session, try these exercises:

• Be patient for the entire message
• Be aware of speech cues (who, what, where, when, why, how)
• Listen for ideas, not just facts (stories, reasons, goals help us remember facts)
Try these guidelines when talking with someone on the telephone or face-to-face. Practice these for a week or two and you will soon realize that they work.

Verify:
“So, you're saying that. . .”
“If I understand correctly, you said. . .”

Question:“What do you mean when you say. . .?”
“Have you really spent. . .?”
6 Cornell Local Roads Program
2 – Oral Communication
Acknowledge: Look at the speaker and nod
Occasionally say, “hmmm” or “oh, right”

Silence: This allows you to give your undivided attention to the other person. You may give some non-verbal cues that you are hearing, such as nodding your head, smiling, opening or closing your eyes. This method is especially useful when people come to you with strong feelings, either positive or negative. Their first need is simply to share the feelings and to have someone listen.

Encourage:

“Tell me more”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Want to have lunch and talk?”

􀀹 Tips
It is estimated that we use only about 25 percent of our listening capacity. Here are three tips to help you increase your ability to listen by 50 percent:
• Look at the speaker (benefit = 15 percent)
• Ask questions (benefit = 15 percent)
• Take notes (benefit = 20 percent)

Improvement occurs only if you practice these good listening skills. Try one of them for about three months. It takes at least that long to create a new habit. If you are a good list taker already, then practice asking questions to clarify what you hear. Avoid trying to implement all three tips at the same time. Success with one new habit will encourage you to try others.
Hearing is natural. Listening is a skill that we learn. Remember: we listen more than any other human activity except breathing!
Cornell

Eliminating Gender Bias and Stereotypes in Career Choices

When you are counseling children about their career choices, you will
be faced with the problem of gender bias and stereotypes. Certain jobs
are commonly believed to be for men only while others are supposed
to be suited only for women. 

For example: It is often thought that a woman’s place is in the home doing domestic chores. Men, on the other hand, are supposed to be engineers, pilots, builders, and so on. They are not expected to take an active role in domestic chores. One of your roles as a caregiver is to educate both boys and girls that
one can do any job for which one meets the requirements. They must
understand that gender should not be a major determinant in career
and vocation selection.

Gender is the social dimension of being male and female. There are two
ways of looking at this definition:

• Gender identity is the sense of being male or female, which
most children acquire by the time they are three years old.

• Gender roles refer to a set of expectations regarding how
females or males should think, act, or feel.

Gender bias begins early in life when parents start dressing children
differently depending on whether they are male or female, giving them
different toys, treating them differently, and having different expectations
for them. The differences are reinforced as children watch and
imitate their parents fulfilling these traditional roles. Culture, the
schools, peers, and the media reinforce what children have learned
from their parents.

Gender stereotypes are the beliefs and impressions that people have
about males and females. Males are believed to be dominant, aggressive,
independent, and enduring go-getters. Females are widely
believed to be soft, caring, more helpful, weak, and emotional. It is
assumed that females are not ambitious, are unable to do certain jobs,
and want to stay at home and nurture children.

Job Volunteering

Youth can assist in a company and do some tasks without expecting
pay but to gain experience in doing the job. This can be done on a part-time
basis.

In the countryside, there may be a limited number of career possibilities.
Church and school careers might be common because almost all
communities have a faith-based organization and a school to cater to
children there. These institutions could also have a secretary or receptionist.
Youth can find out more about these careers by talking with the
people who work in them.

As a caregiver, you can help children and youth learn about careers that
might be possible for them outside the community. Children may be
interested in a career that would involve going to a larger community,
either for training or to work. If this is the case, they will need support
not only to learn more about the career but to move outside of their
home community. Think about how you might help Thuli, in the story
below, fulfil her dream of becoming a teacher.

Can you think of some ways that you could help Thuli become comfortable
with moving to the city to take advantage of her scholarship?

Perhaps you have a friend in the city who would help her get acquainted
or know of an organization where she could meet some friends.
Maybe she just needs someone to go with her for the first few days until
she is settled.

Job Shadowing

Attach a youth for a day or more to a person who has a career that the
youth is interested in. For example, a youth might dress appropriately
for working in an electricity station, start the day with the person he or
she is attached to, help with the work the person being shadowed does
and so on. A youth attached to a receptionist might work in an office
taking calls, recording messages, and receiving visitors.

Identify individuals with careers of interest. Invite them to address the
youth about their own careers and to bring posters, objects, and
audio/video tapes to listen to or view, as well as reading materials
about the careers for display or distribution.

Youth may not admit that they are afraid to leave their familiar surroundings
for a new career, but we need to be aware of that possibility
and provide all the help we can for them in making the transition.
While they are at the stage of exploring careers, introducing them to a
friendly and helpful career mentor can make a big difference.

Helping Youth Explore Possible Careers

Youth and children have a limited knowledge of the range of possible
occupations and careers. This can contribute to unrealistic career aspirations.
As a caregiver, you will need to ensure that youth have appropriate
career information.

In order to make an informed choice, youth need to have a realistic picture
of occupations they are considering:

The working conditions, the tasks that are involved, the qualifications and education required, the salary, the job opportunities, and so on.

You can help youth gather this information by:

• Collecting and discussing written information with them.
• Going for industrial visits where they will get the information
directly from the employers.
• Inviting different professionals to come and talk to them.
• Helping them find volunteer or part-time work in different
industries.
• Encouraging them to volunteer their services in different
organisations or work centres.
• Encouraging them to share career/vocation information with
one another.
• Pointing out postings on bulletin boards found in shopping
centres.
• Encouraging them to get information through the media.

Finding and Providing Information on Career Possibilities

Our world is full of interesting occupations. The activity that follows
asks you to explore a few of them.

Were some parts of these learning activities difficult to do? Sometimes,
because we are familiar with an occupation, we think we know more
about it than we actually do. It is important that we research new
careers we may hear about, but also that we pay attention to the work
that people do around us: watching what people do and asking lots of
questions.


Sources of Information

Below a listed possible sources of information about careers. 

How many of the following possibilities did you include?

• Local libraries.
• Media advertising (newspapers, magazines, radio, TV).
• Government labour office.
• Shopping markets with bulletin boards for advertising.
• Local non-governmental organisations (NGOs) in your
community.
• Churches (the priest, minister, or pastor may be able to help).
• Employment bureaus (for example, TEBA for miners).
• Friends who have careers.
• Current employees of an organisation (a farmer, business person,
medical doctor, teacher, builder, radio announcer, etc.).
• Past employees of an organisation.
• Paying visits to an organisation of your career interest (such
as a hospital for a physiotherapist, radiographer, or nurse).
• From work sites in the immediate community (such as at a
mosque, church, school, or farm).
• Professionals (pilot, engineer, lawyer, etc.).
• Job attachments (such as working with a construction company).
• Internet websites.

As a caregiver, you need to familiarise yourself with these sources so
that you are able to direct children and youth to them when they
require more information than you can give them. You can help them
develop skills in reading, writing, making calls, and searching the internet
to find information on job opportunities.

Personal Exploration

This section begins with an opportunity to explore what
you bring to the area of career guidance, as well as what
you would like to know. It goes on to define what we
mean by the terms "career," "vocational guidance," and
"life skills."

As you begin your work on this unit, take a few moments
to think about your own career experience and what you
can bring from it to your work with youth who are planning
their careers.

We are all different people, with unique abilities and dreams. One of the
biggest challenges in counselling youth about their careers is to be able
to really get to know them: to see their potential and understand their
hopes. As you have worked through the various units in this course,
you have learned various strategies and approaches to help you get to
know children.

Does your list include some of the following?

 
• Giving youth your full attention.
• Listening, not talking or giving advice.
• Being respectful of their ideas.
• Encouraging youth to expand on their statements by asking
questions and checking to see if you are understanding
correctly.
• Helping youth to explore possibilities so they can come to
their own conclusions.

The world of work is changing so quickly that it is difficult to keep
abreast of new career possibilities. While it's useful to know about various
careers, it can be more important to know where to find information
about them.

Career and Vocational Guidance

From the earliest years of our lives, we are asked to consider what we
want to be when we grow up. Parents and guardians carefully plan and
manage their children's educational experiences in the hope of preparing
them for successful careers.

As a caregiver, you are faced with the challenge of helping children and
youth identify and achieve their career goals. Young people tend to have
limited information about the types of jobs that are available to them.
Lack of information leads many to make unrealistic decisions about
careers. Many youth are not sure of what they want to do. Some of
them are not even aware of their own talents. You can help them get the
information they need to make realistic and satisfying career choices.
Another of your roles as a caregiver is to help children and youth develop
the qualities they need to be successful in the job market. Certain
qualities can contribute to success, such as: the willingness to work
hard and do more than the bare minimum; good spoken and written
communication skills; dependability; and the ability to work well with
others.

Career guidance becomes more and more challenging as the realities of
the workplace change. At one time the types of work available and the
skills required changed very little from one generation to another. Now,
times are changing so quickly that it's hard to predict what the next 20,
10, or even 5 years will bring. In these rapidly changing times, qualities
such as flexibility, creativity, and the desire to be a lifelong learner have
become important.

This unit will help you to explore ways that you as a caregiver can help
children and youth to decide on a career plan and gain the skills and
knowledge they need to be successful in the job market, now and in the
future.